There’s a reason most parents will tell you that raising children is the most difficult job in the world! While parenting can be deeply rewarding, it can also be exhausting, challenging, and thankless at times. Parents constantly question whether or not they’re making the right choices, if their children are truly happy and healthy, and what their relationships with their children will be like in the future.
There is no manual that will teach you exactly what to do in order to be a “perfect” parent—because it’s an impossible task! It’s no wonder that so many parents feel insecure, even when they’re doing their best. Here are a few tips to help you deal with parenting insecurity.
1. Stay Away from Social Media
In the past, new mothers and fathers learned everything they knew about parenting from their families, friends, and neighbors. But today, parents are exposed to a wide variety of opinions from countless strangers online. They might see parenting opinions on social media regarding everything from nutrition to education to bedtime routines, and taking in all of this conflicting advice can quickly become overwhelming.
It’s normal to search online for advice when you have big parenting questions, but spending too much time online can cause you to develop insecurities even when you’re doing right by your children. You might feel like you have to compare yourself to people in completely different situations.
Furthermore, you can easily come across misleading information with no way to verify the facts. If you suspect that social media is fueling your parenting insecurities, it might be time to take a break from scrolling.
2. Seek Reassurance from Healthy Role Models
Every parent needs advice from time to time. And if you’re a first-time parent, you probably have new questions every day! To deal with these issues in a healthy way, it’s a good idea to identify some positive parenting role models in your life and check in with them when you’re struggling.
This could be your parents, partner’s parents, or another relative. You may also want to turn to a friend with older children. They can help reassure you when you’re doing well and give you sound advice when you’re confused about what to do.
3. Own Your Final Decisions
Perhaps you’ve been dealing with a complicated situation within your household. You’ve been worried about which course of action will be best for your kids. You’ve also sought advice from a few people. After spending lots of time thinking, you’ve finally come to a decision. Now, it’s time to own it.
This might mean setting boundaries around a certain issue and simply choosing not to discuss it with others anymore. Furthermore, try to resist the temptation to continue seeking out opinions on this specific subject for more reassurance. Get used to owning your decisions confidently. With practice, it will come easier!
4. Talk To a Family Therapist
What if you feel like your insecurities plague you every day? Maybe you find it hard to make final decisions at all because you worry that no matter what you do, you’ll make a mistake. If you feel paralyzed by indecision, and it’s negatively influencing your mental health on a daily basis, it’s time to talk to a therapist.
The right therapist can help you get to the root of your insecurities, identify your strengths as a parent, and learn to trust yourself and your ability to care for your children.
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Are you struggling to cope with parenting insecurities? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for anxiety therapy or parenting therapy.