When your child is little, it’s your job to protect them from everything. They are fully dependent on you. You have to shield them from anything that could hurt them. But as your child gets older, they need to start branching out and taking minor risks on their own. When they’re in preschool, this might mean talking to the new kid on the playground. Later, as they enter middle school and high school, it could involve trying out for a sports team, or taking advanced and honors classes in subjects that challenge them.
As a parent, it’s only natural that you don’t want to see your child get hurt. However, you need to balance this protective instinct by allowing them to take age-appropriate risks. Here’s how to gradually allow your child to take on risks and bounce back from failure.
Why Does Taking Risks Matter?
First, it’s important to understand why letting your child take risks will matter later in life. Ultimately, allowing your child to take a risk and occasionally fail is the best way to learn valuable life skills.
Not only will they be able to learn new things by doing, which boosts their confidence and self-esteem, they’ll also gain the ability to overcome mistakes and failures without losing their willingness to try again. Dealing with failure is a skill of its own. Ultimately, if your child doesn’t take risks, they won’t be able to “learn” how to fail with grace.
Allow for Unstructured Play
Even if your child isn’t old enough to take any real risks on their own, you can still start creating space for them to make their own decisions. For instance, by allowing your toddler to enjoy unstructured play time, they can let their imagination run wild and make creative choices in a safe environment.
Encouraging your child’s creativity will teach them to take “risks” in the context of play and start thinking outside the box.
Share Your Own Successes and Failure
Maybe your child has reached an age when they can start taking small risks by themselves. It could be as simple as inviting a new classmate over for a play date. It might mean taking a children’s dance class that includes a recital where they’ll have to dance in front of people.
If your child is nervous, tell them about the times that you took risks, too! You can share stories of your mistakes and your successes to demonstrate how taking risks pays off in the end.
Providing Instruction
Letting your child take risks does not mean pushing them into situations without any preparation. For example, if your child is about to try out for a sport, you can help them practice some basic skills before the tryout day rolls around.
When you give your child beneficial instruction, it’s kind to do so. Ultimately, they’ll still have to do the work themselves, but having your support can go a long way.
Correcting Mistakes Gently
What if your child takes a risk and fails? This is not the time to pick apart all of their mistakes or criticize them harshly, even if their mishaps could have been easily avoided. Instead, talk to your child about what happened, how they could take a different course of action in the future, and why trying again is worth the effort.
You can teach your child to view mistakes as learning opportunities and valuable teaching moments.
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Are you wondering how to help your child take more age-appropriate risks? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for child counseling or parent therapy.