It’s easy to assume that grief is an emotion that only crops up in association with devastating losses. When a loved one dies, or even if you’ve gone through an intense breakup or divorce, you might feel like you can comfortably say that you’re grieving. But sometimes, grief can arise as a result of losses that society often overlooks.
For example, you can experience grief in the context of friendships, when relocating to a new place, or after missing out on an opportunity that you worked towards for years. However, we often try to suppress these “invisible losses” and our strong reactions toward them because society does not recognize them as true losses.
You might assume that you should simply be grateful for what you have. You might tell yourself to keep your chin up because “other people have it worse.” Here are a few common invisible losses, and how the grief of these losses can affect your life.
Poor Treatment from Friends
Maybe your friends frequently dismiss your needs or ignore you when you advocate for yourself or set boundaries. You may have had to walk away from certain friendships because you were being treated so poorly.
Even if you know that ending the friendship was the right thing to do, you might miss the person you thought your friend was. Additionally, you may mourn the empty space that now exists in your life since the friendship has ended. The loneliness of losing a friend can be profound.
Losing Intimacy in a Relationship
Perhaps you and your partner used to have a strong romantic relationship. But recently, the intimacy has faded away. Maybe you’ve slowly been growing distant for months or years. You might be craving the intimacy you’re now missing out on and wondering why the spark you once had has disappeared.
Part of you may have accepted that the relationship is likely over, while another part of you might be hoping to fix things somehow. Deep down, you’re grieving an anticipated loss. You may not want to share something so private with your friends, so can feel alone in your grief.
Moving Somewhere New
Saying goodbye to a place you once loved can be difficult. Your feelings might vary depending on the circumstances of your move. Maybe you’re excited for a fresh start because you’re moving to a city you love for a good opportunity, or maybe you’ve had to relocate because of factors beyond your control.
Even if you know that moving is the right choice, you can still grieve the place you left behind. You might miss the friends or family members who live there, or even features of the place itself.
Rejection in Your Career or Creative Pursuits
Sometimes, you work very hard to achieve certain career goals or creative pursuits, only to face rejection over and over again.
You might realize that the odds are steep for some of your goals, yet you couldn’t help but get your hopes up. This can be its own form of grief. It can take time to process these disappointments.
Letting Go of Dreams
Sometimes, the chance to achieve your dreams slips out of your reach. While people can accomplish amazing things at any age, circumstances can make certain goals impossible to fulfill.
Deciding to finally let go of a dream you’ve held on to for years can usher in a period of mourning, as you grieve the vision of your future that you always imagined.
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Are you struggling with an invisible loss? You can find support in therapy. Connect with us to learn more about our grief therapy services.