For moms today, it can seem like the pressure to be perfect is never-ending. But when you’re juggling parenthood and lots of other commitments, it might feel like you’re never living up to these impossible standards.
Because of this ever-increasing list of demands for mothers, you can easily end up struggling with mom guilt. You might worry that if you have to balance work and motherhood, you’re letting your child down. Or you might be concerned that you’re not following certain parenting trends that you see in the media and your social circle, causing you to question whether or not you’re doing a good job.
Mom guilt is pervasive, but these tips can help you overcome it.
Log Off Social Media
If you use social media, it’s time to take a break. It’s easy to fall into the trap of mom guilt when you’re looking at edited images and the highlight reels of other people's lives on social media. You might feel bad that you can’t emulate their lifestyles for your family.
But these portrayals of motherhood are often unrealistic. You never know what’s going on behind the scenes in someone else’s life.
Remember, It Takes a Village
Why does motherhood today feel so all-consuming? Unfortunately, many people are more isolated from their communities than ever before. In the past, you wouldn’t have been expected to handle all of your parenting duties on your own.
Instead, your family and close friends would have been nearby to help. Give yourself grace when you feel like you’re slipping. Mothers can’t be expected to handle everything by themselves.
Be Honest with Yourself
Sometimes, mom guilt stems from comparing your life with others. But it’s important to take some time to self-reflect and be honest with yourself. You’re not in someone else’s shoes, and chances are, you’re doing the best you can in your own unique circumstances. If your children are happy and healthy,
Practice Self-Compassion
As a mom, you’re probably tough on yourself sometimes. The next time you’re dealing with mom guilt, try to treat yourself with self-compassion. Allow yourself to release those feelings of stress and guilt, and treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend with this mindset.
Seek Flexibility
What if you’re struggling with mom guilt because you do feel burdened by some of your other commitments, and you genuinely would prefer to spend more time with your family? This could be a cue for you and your partner to seek more flexibility in your lives.
For instance, it might be worth talking to your manager about working remotely or setting up a hybrid arrangement. You might also have to turn down certain other responsibilities that you didn’t necessarily want to say “Yes” to in the first place.
Creating a flexible schedule can give you more space for everything you really want to do.
Prioritize What’s Important
Even if you can’t spend as much time with your family as you like, you can always take steps to make that time more special. For example, you might want to limit your screen time, or turn to more family-friendly hobbies so that you and your child can enjoy the same activities together.
You might also want to look for ways to combine socializing with family time. Reach out to your friends who also have children, and see if you can carve out more time to get together.
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Are you struggling to cope with mom guilt? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session in women’s counseling.