When You Have Trouble Conceiving—Overcoming the Pain, Remembering What Counts

If you’re having trouble conceiving, you might be struggling with emotional turmoil. You’re trying to hide it from everyone around you, but simply getting through the day can be tough.

You might feel completely fixated on your hopes for parenthood. Part of you may feel like a failure because you haven’t managed to conceive yet, even though you know that so much of this process is out of your control. Furthermore, you might find it hard to enjoy the things you used to.

You miss your old self, but it’s hard to remember who you were before you struggled with infertility. Here’s how to cope with this unique form of pain in a healthy way.

Distract Yourself During the “Two-Week Wait”

Every couple who has had trouble conceiving is familiar with the dreaded “two-week wait.” If you’re trying for a baby, waiting to see if you’ll menstruate or not is nerve-wracking.

During those two long weeks at the end of your cycle, you might have trouble thinking about anything other than whether you’ll need to take a pregnancy test. Make plans ahead of time for those two weeks so that you can distract yourself. You may want to go on a road trip out of town, attend some fun local events, or work on a creative project.

Focus on a Hobby You Love

Maybe you feel like trying to conceive and deal with infertility has taken up so much of your time that you’ve shoved your hobbies to the back burner. Maybe you used to read lots of books, paint or draw, write short stories and poems, knit or crochet, or bake every weekend. Now, so much of your mental and physical energy is consumed by infertility that you’ve forgotten about all the activities you used to love.

Choose one hobby to focus on again, and make space for it in your life. Chances are, you’ll feel a little lighter, and you’ll have somewhere to channel your energy.

woman sitting on dock looking out at water

Re-Connect with Your Partner

Is it starting to feel like you and your partner are only intimate for the sake of conceiving? Maybe intimacy feels like a chore, and you’re just going through the motions. Talk to your partner about how you can revive your romance.

This might mean cuddling more often, holding hands when you’re walking, taking dance lessons together, or scheduling weekly date nights at your favorite local restaurant.

Practice Self-Care

When you’re struggling to conceive, it’s easy to let your routines and habits fall by the wayside. Furthermore, if you’re going through physically painful procedures like IVF, you might not feel like yourself.

But it’s so important to keep practicing self-care when you’re trying to conceive. When you’re eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, exercising on a regular basis, and pampering yourself on occasion, you’ll enjoy better moods.

Consider Therapy

Sometimes, trying to deal with your complicated emotions around infertility on your own just isn’t enough. You may want to talk to someone about your struggles besides your partner. Additionally, you may just feel like you need some more advice and support to get through this difficult time.

Working with a therapist can help you overcome the pain you’re experiencing, process your feelings in a safe space, and learn skills and strategies for managing your emotions. A good therapist can also help you connect with support groups for couples who are dealing with infertility. Talking to people with shared experiences can be a breath of fresh air!

Are you struggling emotionally because of infertility? Talking to a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for women’s counseling.