Balancing work and motherhood is challenging. Many employers offer only a few weeks of maternity leave. Some do not offer any paid leave at all. Mothers who do not have the option to work from home can find themselves scrambling to manage daycare pick-ups and drop-offs. They may feel like their manager and coworkers do not understand the extent of their responsibilities outside of work. On the other hand, mothers who can work remotely still need to have backup plans in case their childcare falls through.
Furthermore, you may find that your spouse is not pitching in equally at home. You're left with a heavy burden between your domestic and professional life. With all of these competing pressures, it’s no wonder so many working moms suffer from depression. Here are a few suggestions to help you achieve a sustainable work-life balance.
Assess Your Workload at Home
First, it’s time to review everything you’re currently responsible for at home. This includes everything from your baby’s bedtime routine to grocery shopping to vacuuming. Sit down with your spouse and note where your responsibilities are unevenly distributed.
Fixing the distribution of labor in your household isn’t just about how you split up tasks. It’s also about ensuring you’re not wholly responsible for the mental load of determining when and how everything will get done. Discuss how you can divvy up domestic tasks in an equal manner. Decide which tasks each of you will “own.” When someone owns a task, it means that the other partner does not have to involve themselves. This means that you do not have to remind your spouse to start or finish the task at a certain time.
Communicate with Your Supervisor
Next, reflect on your responsibilities at work. Could you talk to your manager about gaining more flexibility in regards to leaving the office to handle daycare pickups? Would you be able to delegate any minor tasks to a junior employee who is looking to gain more experience? Depending on your role, you may want to explore new software tools or apps that could help you automate or accelerate certain workflows or tasks.
Determine What You Can Outsource
Perhaps you and your spouse have found an equal method of splitting up household labor that works for both of you. Yet as a couple, you still feel like you barely have any time to take care of yourselves. You rarely enjoy fun dates or fully relax. It might be time to think about outsourcing certain tasks if it fits your budget. Hiring a cleaner once or twice a month or signing up for a meal delivery service can save you time.
Make the Most of Your Downtime
When you do have downtime, it can be tempting to simply scroll on your phone, watch a TV show, or engage in another low-effort activity. But choosing relaxing activities that do not involve screens can help you feel more energized and refreshed. Gentle yoga, reading or listening to an audiobook, or going for a stroll around the block can all help clear your mind.
Consider Individual or Couples Therapy
You do not have to face depression on your own. Adjusting to motherhood while navigating your career is not easy. A therapist can help you clarify your values, improve your time management, and honor your own needs while caring for your child. Additionally, a couples therapist can support you and your spouse in sharing the workload equally.
–
If you’re a working mom who is struggling with depression, we’re here to help—call my office or fill out my contact form to schedule a free consultation or depression therapy session.