For most new mothers, the postpartum period can bring up complicated emotions. Welcoming your new baby can be joyful. But this time can also be extremely stressful.
Many women struggle with their mental health postpartum as they adjust to the demands of motherhood. However, pressure from other people, like your in-laws, can make your postpartum stress feel even more severe.
Perhaps you’re currently suffering from high levels of postpartum stress. If you have had trouble getting along with your in-laws in the past, you might wonder if their behavior is a contributing factor.
Here are a few ways your in-laws could exacerbate your postpartum stress, and why therapy can help you navigate the situation.
Disrespecting Boundaries
It’s perfectly normal for new parents to set strict boundaries around their time and schedule in the weeks following the birth of their new baby. But what if your in-laws choose not to respect these reasonable boundaries?
You might feel overwhelmed if they’re stopping by your house when visitors are not welcome, especially if you or your baby are trying to sleep. This can exacerbate your stress levels and cause you to feel extremely anxious.
Overbearing Parenting Advice
You know how you want to parent your child. Together, you and your partner have spent plenty of time talking about. But at every turn, your in-laws insist they know better.
You often face criticism for even the most basic of choices. No matter what you do, it seems like your in-laws can find some sort of flaw in your actions. You end up second-guessing your decisions, and you worry that you’re not doing enough for your child.
Most of all, you long for space and time to figure out parenting on your own, without constant derogatory comments.
Guilt-Tripping
You might feel confused about your emotions upon becoming a mother. Some days, you might feel blissfully happy. On other days, you may feel anxious, fearful, or simply exhausted. But your in-laws might guilt-trip you if you express anything other than happiness.
Some people do not give new mothers the grace they need after giving birth. Being guilt-tripped for perfectly normal emotions during a time of major change can be extremely frustrating.
Putting a Strain on Your Marriage
Finally, these tensions with your in-laws can strain your relationship with your partner. You might try to bring up your concerns, only for the conversation to go south when your partner gets defensive. Or you might worry that talking to your partner about their parents will be too uncomfortable, so you stay silent about your frustrations.
You may feel a distance between yourself and your partner as a result of the problems with your in-laws. At a time when you need them more than ever, this can be especially difficult to deal with.
Talking to a Therapist
Working with a therapist can help you confidently set boundaries. You can also learn to forge your own path as a mother, along with your partner—and demonstrate to your in-laws that ultimately, it’s your job to make decisions for your baby.
Furthermore, bringing your partner to couples counseling can help you both find a way to navigate challenging conversations with your in-laws. A therapist can enable your partner to see where you’re coming from so that you can move forward together as a team.
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Do you suspect that tension between you and your in-laws is worsening your postpartum stress? Talking to a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.