In a few months, you and your partner will welcome your first child. Each day, you feel excited and nervous all at once. You’re counting down the days until your baby is supposed to arrive. But at the same time, you’re trying to savor every last moment of spontaneity and relaxation before you take on a whole host of new responsibilities. It’s normal to feel like your emotions are swinging wildly as you prepare to become a parent.
Making sure that your baby is happy and healthy is probably the most important thing on your mind. But many couples don’t anticipate just how much strain a new baby can put on their relationship.
When you’re caring for an infant, it’s practically impossible to plan a fun date night, spend time on your favorite mutual hobbies, or even sleep for several hours consecutively. If you want to keep the spark alive, you need to make a conscious effort.
Thankfully, countless couples have walked down this path, and professionals in the couples counseling field have shared their best advice for new parents in their books. If you’re about to become a parent, add these books to your must-read list!
What About Us? By Karen Kleiman
In the book What About Us? A New Parents Guide to Safeguarding Your Over-Anxious, Over-Extended, Sleep-Deprived Relationship, author and postpartum depression expert Karen Kleiman shares her time-tested advice for couples who are struggling to navigate parenthood for the first time.
The unending demands of a new baby can make it feel like your marriage is being tested. You can’t sleep through the night, your hormones are unbalanced, and you might be dealing with anxiety or depression. In the midst of all this, it’s easy to assume that your relationship is on the rocks. It can be difficult to see that things will likely get easier in the coming months.
Kleiman shares her expert tips on communicating with your partner while caring for your new baby. Her advice will help you “safeguard” your relationship so that you can weather challenges together.
Through essays and comics, you’ll find guidance on dealing with challenges, handling your physical recovery and reviving your intimacy when you’re ready, and tapping into your personal strengths as a couple.
The book also includes journal prompts that you and your partner can answer together. Finally, Kleiman includes a resource list to help you connect with professional help if necessary.
And Baby Makes Three by John and Julie Gottman
The Gottmans pioneered the highly effective Gottman method of couples therapy. In the book And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Romance After Baby Arrives, this married couple shares the skills they have taught to new parents in couples’ workshops for years.
From splitting up housework fairly to coping with a lack of sleep to addressing financial concerns in a productive way, this book walks you through many obstacles you’re likely to face as new parents.
The Gottmans also include plenty of advice on rekindling your romance and finding ways to express intimacy. This book can also help you deal with conflicts that may arise. Furthermore, the Gottmans share their evidence-backed recommendations for preventing PPD and supporting each other’s mental health during this time. The exercises in this book will allow you to explore potential issues that might crop up and come up with workable conflict resolution methods.
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Are you nervous about all of the life changes you’ll face as a new parent? Talking to a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.