Maybe you’ve been struggling with depression symptoms. You’re trying to slowly shift your perspective, tend to your needs, and reconnect with your support system. But guilt and shame might be interfering with your efforts to manage your depression in a healthy way.
Perhaps you feel embarrassed to even acknowledge that you’re struggling, because you tell yourself that other people have it worse. As a woman, you may also feel ashamed that you haven’t been able to live up to society’s standards—you may be having trouble keeping up with basic hygiene, taking care of household chores, or going the extra mile at work. Guilt and shame are ultimately obstacles to healing. Here’s how to let go of these feelings so that you can recover from depression.
Understand the Toll of Societal Expectations
For women suffering from depression, the pressure to live up to certain cultural standards can be immense. Many people with depression have difficulty getting out of bed, showering, or keeping their homes clean, and the idea of dressing up, maintaining a perfect space, or being chipper and bubbly seems out of the question.
Do not measure your worth based on societal expectations. You are not falling short as a woman if these standards feel out of reach. In fact, society’s standards are unrealistic even for women who are not struggling with their mental health. Give yourself the time and space you need to heal.
Identify Negative Thought Patterns
When you’re depressed, you might have trouble ignoring persistent, negative thought patterns. You may hold hurtful core beliefs, like the idea that you’re not worthy of striving for better, or that you don’t deserve to have close relationships. These thought patterns can deepen your shame.
By identifying specific, negative thought patterns that crop up again and again, you can start to shift your beliefs and turn to affirmative beliefs instead. Sometimes, simply reminding yourself that a thought is just a thought, and it isn’t automatically true, can help you find relief.
Practice Self-Compassion
People with depression are often highly self-critical. You may assume that criticizing yourself will force you to change your behavior through “tough love.” But what if you just needed some genuine self-love, without the constant criticism? Practicing self-compassion can be much more helpful than engaging in self-criticism. Speak kindly to yourself, and try using the tone you would use with a friend who was struggling. Notice how this changes your mood.
Emphasize Self-Care
Depression can have an impact on your mental and physical wellbeing. If you had a physical illness, you would make sure to drink plenty of water, eat meals that nourish you, and get lots of sleep. The same self-care activities can be highly beneficial when you have depression. Additionally, you may want to try gentle forms of exercise, like doing yoga or going for long walks. When you turn your focus to activities that genuinely support your health, you’ll likely notice that you spend less time ruminating on guilt and shame.
Celebrate Small Steps
You may feel guilty for not doing “enough,” or experience shame because you wonder why everyone else seems like they’re accomplishing more than you. Instead of getting hung up on these comparisons, celebrate the small steps you’ve taken towards healing instead. You might want to try keeping a journal or using a habit tracker so that you can see the progress you’ve made. Each small step forward moves you closer to a happier, more fulfilling life.
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Are feelings of guilt and shame making it hard to overcome depression? Reach out to our compassionate therapy team to schedule a free consultation or a depression counseling session.