Sometimes, family planning simply doesn’t go as planned. For example, you might have wanted to wait for several more months or even another year or two before trying to conceive. But now, you and your partner are looking at a positive result on a pregnancy test in shock, wondering how you’re going to take on this responsibility before you feel truly ready.
Or perhaps you’ve been struggling to conceive, and you never expected that it would take so long. You’re wondering when things will finally turn around, and part of you may be losing hope.
No matter how hard you’ve tried to stick to a particular plan for your family, many couples face unexpected bumps in the road along this journey. Here’s how to cope when your family planning expectations don’t meet reality.
Check In with Your Partner
Whether you’ve conceived well before you intended to try, or you’ve been trying to conceive for much longer than you ever anticipated, it’s important to communicate honestly with your partner throughout the whole process.
Make sure that you’re still on the same page about what you want for your future family. You don’t have to pretend that everything is fine if you’re feeling frustrated and conflicted. Talk to your partner about everything that’s on your mind. You’ll feel a little lighter.
Lean On Close Friends and Family
You do not need to tell your entire social circle about the family planning obstacles that you’re dealing with. But sometimes, couples try to keep all of their struggles to themselves.
You might want to protect yourself from potential judgment, yet staying silent around the people you trust can leave you feeling even more isolated. You may want to talk to your parents, a sibling, or a close friend or two. You might be surprised to find out how many people in your life have faced similar challenges.
Explore Your Options
Trying to figure out what to do now that your original plans have been thrown off might be keeping you up at night. Speak openly with your partner about your options.
For example, are there any steps you could take to prepare financially for having a baby before you originally expected to? Should you start exploring possibilities like fertility treatments, fostering, or adoption? Talk over these avenues with your partner to gauge their opinions.
Invest In Yourself
It’s important to take time for yourself and prioritize your own physical health and wellbeing during this tough time. Do your best to eat a nutritious diet and make time for exercise in your routine. Even doing yoga for a few minutes before bed in the evening can help you feel calmer and centered.
You may want to block off time for a hobby that you love, but have been neglecting. Furthermore, schedule regular date nights with your partner. You can still have fun together, even when the future feels uncertain.
Consider Therapy
Opening up to your loved ones about your feelings is beneficial. However, talking to a therapist can equip you with the tools and strategies you need to support your mental health during the family planning process. You might be interested in working with a therapist on your own, or going to couples therapy with your partner.
It’s a good idea to approach this process together, as a therapist can help you have productive conversations with your partner. Look for a therapist who specializes in supporting couples through issues like family planning or infertility.
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Are you struggling to cope with family planning going off track? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for women’s counseling.