If you’ve recently had a miscarriage, you know the emotional turmoil that comes with this experience. Right now, you might feel hopeless, and worst of all, you may be blaming yourself for what happened. You’re trying to wrap your head around a future that may not look as you originally pictured it. You might be struggling to open up to your partner and be fully vulnerable with your feelings, even though you know they want to help.
It’s not easy to pick yourself up again after a miscarriage. You cannot rush the emotional healing process, either. You need to give yourself time. Here are a few tips to help you alleviate the shame that can accompany a miscarriage.
Remember, It’s Not Your Fault
It always bears repeating that a miscarriage is never your fault. As devastating as it is, a miscarriage is ultimately a natural biological process, and it is not something that you have any control over. Many women experience miscarriages well before they even know that they are pregnant.
Right now, you might be racking your brain and trying to figure out if you personally did anything wrong. But miscarriages are a matter of chance, and you do not have to pin the blame on yourself. Allow yourself to let go of shame and guilt.
Process Your Feelings
Chances are, your head is spinning right now. You might feel overwhelmed by your intense emotions around your miscarriage. This is a form of grief, and you need an outlet to process these feelings. You might want to write in a journal where you can say whatever is on your mind without facing judgment. Alternatively, you could channel these feelings into a creative project.
Lean on Trustworthy Friends and Family
Perhaps no one knows about your miscarriage right now except for your partner. Even if you told a few of your loved ones that you were pregnant, you might not have said anything about your miscarriage just yet.
If you’re still keeping these details inside, it’s time to choose a couple of close, trustworthy loved ones whom you can comfortably open up to. You do not need to tell everyone you know, but leaning on your friends and family can leave you feeling a little lighter.
Care for Your Own Needs
Right now, you might be neglecting your own physical needs. When you’re struggling emotionally, it can be hard to eat healthy meals, sleep well at night, or include gentle exercise in your routine.
Talk to your partner about how they can help you in these areas. Could they cook a few nights per week to ensure that you’re eating enough? Can you commit to turning your screens off early together each night so that you can start getting more sleep? When your partner has your back, it’s easier to make sure that your needs are met.
Talk to a Therapist
Finally, now is a good time to reach out to a therapist who can help you cope with everything you’re going through. It can take a little time to find the right therapist, so research local providers who specialize in working with women who have dealt with fertility issues.
If you’re having trouble finding a therapist in your area who fits the bill, you might want to look into virtual therapy. By working with a therapist, you’ll have a safe space where you can open up about your feelings, and you’ll learn strategies to help you navigate this tough time.
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Are you struggling with shame because of a recent miscarriage? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for women’s counseling.