Is your child typically quite shy? Maybe they feel comfortable around close family members. But when someone who they don’t know very well stops by, they tend to escape to their room.
Or perhaps they’ve recently started in preschool or kindergarten. Although they were excited at first, they’re struggling to make friends. You may have noticed that they hesitate to approach other kids on the playground. Maybe they don’t want to attend birthday parties and other events that they’ve been invited to.
You might be deeply concerned about your child’s future. But truthfully, many children struggle with shyness when they’re young and gradually grow out of it. Your child may even surprise you by turning out to be an outgoing extrovert! Here’s how to help your child build their self-confidence over time.
Gentle Encouragement
You may be wondering if you should push your child a bit harder to be social. But if you try to force your child into situations they’re not ready for, they may be even more discouraged from socializing again in the future.
Your child needs to trust that you are not going to push them into overwhelming social interactions. Watch your child’s reaction to different social interactions carefully so you can gauge whether or not they’re ready to take bigger steps.
Gradual Exposure
Take a gentle approach to help your child socialize. You may want to schedule play dates with one friend at a time, or host their classmates at your home so that your child can socialize in an environment where they already feel comfortable.
As time goes on, your child will be ready to handle different types of interactions, and they will feel more confident in their social skills.
Prepare Your Child for New Situations
Your child might be shy because they don’t know how to handle different social situations yet. This is a normal part of growing up, but shy children feel more anxiety as they try to figure out the “rules” and expectations associated with different social gatherings.
To help your child calm down, prepare them for scenarios they haven’t encountered yet. For example, if they’ve been invited to a birthday party, talk to them about picking out a gift, who will be there, and what kinds of activities they might do.
Stay Nearby
When your child is very young, it’s perfectly normal to stay near them during social interactions. For instance, if you take your child to the playground, you’ll obviously stay close by to watch over them!
You can take a similar approach to set up playdates for your child — invite their friend’s parents to come spend time with you as well. When your child knows that you’re there, they will likely feel more relaxed. Don’t worry that you’re hovering, as your child will get plenty of independent play time at school
Consider Therapy
What if your child is dealing with severe social anxiety that seems to go beyond run-of-the-mill shyness? If you’re worried that your child’s fears around socializing are affecting their budding relationships and development, and nothing you’ve tried so far has helped them, you may want to consider finding a therapist who specializes in working with children.
There are many different approaches to child therapy. Your child may be able to attend some sessions on their own, or you might go together. A therapist can help your child move past this anxiety and gain confidence.
—
Is your shy child struggling to build confidence? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for your child with teen counseling.