You love your child. But you were unprepared for the challenges of parenting as an introvert. Maybe the reality that your “me time” would be practically non-existent for the foreseeable future hit you when your child was just an infant. They might have been colicky or simply fussy and constantly needed you to hold them. Or perhaps you had a relatively quiet, calm baby. But now that they’re a rambunctious toddler, you feel mentally drained and exhausted each and every day. You worry that you’re losing your true self to parenthood because you need far more time to yourself than you’re getting.
There’s no doubt that introverted parents face some unique challenges. But it’s entirely possible to be an attentive parent while setting boundaries to protect your personal time. Here are some recommendations for introverted parents.
Find Pockets of Quiet Time Throughout Your Day
You may not be able to spend entire weekends doing nothing but relaxing at home by yourself. But you can still find “pockets” of quiet time in a typical day. This may involve waking up an hour earlier or going to bed a bit later. Spend this time engaging in an activity that helps you recharge. This might mean reading, journaling, doing yoga, going for a run, sketching, or anything else that allows you to pour into your own cup!
Delegate Childcare Fairly with Your Family
Talk to your partner about how you can better divide your time so that you can both enjoy more “me time.” This is especially important if both of you are introverts! Furthermore, don’t be afraid to take your friends and family up on their offers to babysit. If you do have the room in your budget to hire a babysitter, set up date nights with your partner — or use this time for solo activities.
Identify Quieter Activities that Your Child Enjoys
It’s only natural that your child asks you to play with them. You never want to tell them “No,” but at the same time, you find yourself craving alone time when they want your company. Depending on your child’s age, try suggesting activities that they can do independently while you relax in the same room. For example, would they be content to play with their stuffed animals quietly or work on a puzzle while you read quietly?
Participate in Social Activities on Your Own Terms
When you attend social events with your child, think about how you can use this time to your advantage. If you’re at a soccer game, you might be able to read in the stands during the lulls in the action. Keep in mind that sometimes, letting your child have friends over for play dates more often can actually keep them occupied so that you get some more free time. You can also swap with their friends’ parents. By setting them up with play dates away from your house, you’ll get some much-needed alone time!
Explain Introversion to Your Child When They Can Understand
When your child is old enough, you can share what it really means to be an introvert. Explain to your child that just like a device has a battery, people have “social batteries.” You need time to recharge by being alone, while other people need to recharge by socializing. Everyone is different, and that’s perfectly okay! In time, they might figure out that they’re an introvert, too!
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Do you feel like being an introvert makes parenting more difficult? A therapist can help you adjust your parenting style. Reach out to us to find out more about parent therapy.