As a parent, you want what is best for your child. The thought of them getting hurt or facing disappointment upsets you, but you know that as time goes on, you will not be able to protect them from everything. This is just part of growing up.
Allowing your child to make their own choices and, ultimately, their own mistakes is an unavoidable aspect of parenting. But that does not mean it’s easy to accept. Letting your child claim their agency and make choices can be difficult for you, yet it’s essential for their intellectual development.
Here’s how allowing your child to make their own decisions will help both you and your child as they grow up.
The Benefits Of Decision-Making for Your Child
When your child is very young, you need to make every single decision for them. They do not have the physical or intellectual ability to choose anything for themselves. But as they grow up, giving them more and more choices will help them develop their decision-making skills.
If they are allowed to start making their own choices at a young age, even when it comes to basic subjects like what to wear, or what to eat as a snack, they will be able to make smarter decisions as they get older. The idea of choosing for themselves won’t be so intimidating.
Why You Benefit from Your Child’s Independence
Letting your child make their own decisions as the years go on grants you more freedom as a parent. When your child is young, you can start by allowing basic choices where both options will lead to basically the same outcomes.
With time, you can allow them to make more consequential choices. This can be nerve-wracking at first, but it’s only with practice that your child will learn to make smart choices. When they enter the adult world, you can rest assured that they’re able to independently make good decisions because you allowed them to practice, and you’ll enjoy peace of mind.
Decision-Making Skills for Toddlers
Toddlers can’t safely make many decisions on their own. But although they can’t have free rein, you can give them controlled choices that will let them build their decision-making skills. Even if you’re just letting them choose the shoes they want to wear, it’s a good start! At this stage, it’s all about giving them basic choices in a safe environment.
Choices for School Age Children
When your child is in elementary school, they have their own interests, preferences, and unique character traits. You can grant them a wider range of choices at this stage within age-appropriate limits, such as their preferred after-school activities.
Letting your child explore their own interests is key. This is an opportunity to let them find out who they really are. It is definitely an important age for self-discovery!
Letting Teenagers Make Their Own Choices
By the time your child enters high school, they will need to make decisions for themselves on a daily basis. Ultimately, this phase of life involves making lots of mistakes, too! While you will need to let your child fall down sometimes, you need to be there to pick them back up.
This is also a time when you will want to offer your teen guidance on some of the big life decisions that they will face, such as where to go to college, what to study, and how they should finance their education.
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Are you struggling to allow your child to make decisions? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session for women’s or parenting counseling..