After losing a loved one, you might be surprised by just how angry you feel. Part of you might simply be mad at the injustice of the situation. Your loved one may have died young or passed away after receiving a shocking diagnosis.
Even if your loved one was older, and their death was not at all unexpected, you may still feel angry that they were taken away from you. If your loved one repeatedly acted in a way that was detrimental to their health and well-being, and these problems led to their passing, you might even be harboring anger directed at them. It’s easy to feel guilty if this is the case, yet you can’t always help these feelings.
Anger tends to go hand in hand with grief. Yet many people don’t talk about this because they feel ashamed for having such angry feelings after a loss. Here are a few healthy ways to cope with anger that arises because of grief.
Understand that Anger Is a Stage of Grief
Despite the guilt and confusion you might feel around your anger, it’s important to accept these feelings as they come. It’s perfectly normal to experience anger after a loss. In fact, “anger” is actually one of the five stages of grief.
Trying to fight these feelings might actually intensify them in the long run. Therefore, try not to judge yourself for your anger. Grief is complicated, and anger is a fairly typical aspect of grief.
Find a Safe Outlet for Self-Expression
You don’t want to bottle up these feelings inside. Instead, try to find a safe outlet for self-expression. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to a loved one about your anger, consider writing down your thoughts in a journal.
You can be completely honest in a journal, as everything you write down will remain confidential. Blocking off some time each day for journaling can be very freeing, and you might feel a bit lighter by the time you put down your pen.
Move Your Body
Exercise and movement are great ways to release anger and tension from your system. Moving your body and getting physical activity can provide a healthy distraction from your grief, and when you’re done, you’ll probably notice that you’re carrying less tension in your muscles.
Aim for 8 Hours of Sleep
When you’re grieving, it can be very difficult to get a good night’s sleep. Worst of all, a lack of sleep can make you irritable and angry. Basically, getting too little sleep fuels your anger. Therefore, it’s important to stick with a consistent sleep routine.
It’s okay if this routine does not always result in eight hours of quality sleep. It’s all about retraining your body and brain to feel safe and relaxed at the end of the day so that you can doze off. You may want to have a cup of tea, write in your journal, and meditate before bed so that your body and mind receive the same message to relax every night.
Consider Working with a Therapist
Trying to navigate grief on your own might leave you feeling even angrier. If you’re distressed about a lack of support or understanding, working with a therapist can help you validate your feelings. A therapy session is a confidential space, and you’re free to express your anger. It’s a safe place to vent and share your contradictory emotions when you’re grieving.
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Are you struggling with anger that’s been brought on by grief? Talking to a therapist can help you process these complex emotions. Reach out to us to learn more about our grief counseling services.