Lots of people view their children’s first birthday parties as celebratory days. But what if you’re struggling with memories of birth trauma? As your child’s first birthday approaches, these memories might loom large in your mind. You might feel guilty that you’re not in the mood for a party, or you may be worried about what your emotional state will be like on the day itself.
This experience is more common than many mothers realize. However, lots of women are hesitant to talk about it. It is not always easy to be open and vulnerable about such difficult experiences. Here’s how to process your complicated emotions about your child’s first birthday if you experienced birth trauma.
Talk to Trusted Loved Ones
Sometimes, simply opening up to someone about your feelings can help you deal with everything you’re going through. You may want to talk to your partner, a close friend, or your own mother. It can be hard to start this conversation.
But chances are, if you’re talking to someone who was in your life when your child was born, they’re probably familiar with what you went through already. They may be able to give you some advice or simply be a shoulder to lean on during a tough time.
Write Down Your Feelings
What if you just don’t feel comfortable talking to someone about your birth trauma? You may want to write down your feelings in a journal.
Even if you have someone to open up to, you might still want to jot down your emotions in a notebook. It can help to simply get everything down on paper and out of your head. Your mind might feel clearer if you take this approach
Keep Celebrations Low-Key
With all the complex emotions you’re dealing with, the thought of throwing a big celebration for your child’s first birthday might be sending you into a tailspin. What if you just can’t stomach the thought of hosting on a day that brings back so many tough memories? Remember, there is no rule that says you have to throw a huge birthday party when your child turns one.
After all, they won’t remember it! You may want to have a party on a different date, or you might want to keep the celebration to immediate family, grandparents, and a close friend or two.
Celebrate Yourself
Your child’s first birthday is not just an occasion for celebrating a milestone in your baby’s life. It’s also a time to celebrate yourself and everything you’ve accomplished.
Chances are, you’ve discovered that you’re stronger than you ever realized, and even if you did not have the birth experience you imagined, you have come a long way over the past year. Sometimes, taking a moment to celebrate yourself and your resilience can help lift your spirits.
Turn to a Therapist
You do not have to go through this experience alone. If you’re trying to deal with memories of birth trauma as your child’s first birthday gets closer, you may want to turn to a therapist for support. You can open up to a therapist about anything that happens to be on your mind—you do not have to hold back any details or censor yourself.
Many parents find that therapy is beneficial because it can be difficult to talk about nuanced parenting topics sometimes, even with close friends and relatives. A therapist can be a great resource.
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Are you struggling with memories of birth trauma around your child’s first birthday? Talking to a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.