Perhaps you have recently given birth, and you simply haven’t bonded with your baby in how you expected. You’ve been caring for your child 24/7. Yet your lack of emotional connection has left you feeling concerned.
Maybe you were already a mother, and you bonded quickly with your child the last time you gave birth. Or maybe this is your first baby, and so far, your experience hasn’t matched up with the experiences that your friends described. Either way, you’re confused.
Here’s why you might not have formed this intimate bond with your newborn yet, and when you should consider seeking help.
Personal Experiences Vary
First, keep in mind that the specific emotions that parents experience when bonding with their children can vary from person to person. It’s okay if your emotions differ somewhat from the feelings that other parents you know have described.
You might not feel joyful and giddy about your newborn. Yet you might feel a deep sense of calm and contentment when you hold them. The early days of bonding can look quite different for each parent. But as long as you are giving your baby the care they need, you’re on the right track.
There’s No Timeline
Some parents feel a rush of love the moment they see their baby. Others don’t experience this until weeks or months after their baby arrives. At the moment, you might just have a case of the “baby blues.” These are feelings of sadness and fatigue that can persist for a week or two after giving birth.
Or you may simply need a bit more time to get used to your new responsibilities as a mother before you can fully embrace the special connection you have with your baby. There’s no deadline for bonding with your baby. Don’t try to assign yourself to a timeline or compare yourself to anyone else’s.
Feeling Overwhelmed
Right now, you’re probably overwhelmed. Everything you have on your plate might be holding you back from bonding with your baby. If you feel like you barely have a quiet moment, and you’re constantly stressed and harried, you may not be able to focus on just bonding with your newborn.
If you’re in this scenario, you have every right to ask for more help than you’re currently getting, whether you need more support from your partner, family, or friends.
Difficult Delivery
Sometimes, a difficult delivery can make it harder for mothers to bond with their babies. Maybe you experienced a traumatizing delivery. Perhaps your child was in the NICU for days or weeks on end, which limited your opportunities to spend time bonding with them skin-to-skin.
If this was the case, give yourself some grace. You have been through a traumatic experience, and you need time to recover physically and mentally.
Postpartum Depression
Not every woman who has trouble bonding with her baby has postpartum depression, but many do. Postpartum depression is characterized by trouble bonding with your baby, intense feelings of sadness and exhaustion, irritability, or emotional numbness. If these symptoms sound familiar, it’s time to start looking for a therapist who specializes in helping postpartum parents.
However, it’s important to note that you do not have to be experiencing symptoms of PPD in order to talk to a therapist or seek professional help. If you’re having trouble bonding with your newborn, and you simply want someone to talk to without facing judgment, reaching out to a therapist can be extremely helpful.
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Are you struggling to bond with your newborn? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.