Motherhood is a beautiful and rewarding experience for many. However, it’s not without challenges. Motherhood changes our relationships with those around us, and even how we behave in relationships.
Previously, you may have been able to tackle a lot on your own. However, as mom, you have more on your plate than you did before. Often, mothers think they should be able to do all the things they did before, even with the added tasks associated with raising children.
And often, mothers end up finding it hard to juggle it all on their own, which leads to self-deprecating thoughts. I could do all these things before, so why can’t I now? For some, it can lead to increased feelings of anxiety and depression about “measuring up” as a mom.
On top of that, social media has us thinking that other mothers are able to live a perfect life and somehow do it all. However, that’s simply not realistic and those posts are designed to appear perfect. There’s this idea that all moms have to be “Super Mom”.
In reality, it is more than okay for mothers to ask for help. After all, being a mom is a full-time job on its own! So how can moms ask for help and not feel bad about it?
Step 1: Accept That Things Change
It’s difficult to realize that we need others more than we may have in the past. Again, it makes us feel like we don’t measure up to this perfect, unattainable idea of motherhood we see online.
But it’s important to remember that there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Many moms feel their hand is forced. They feel guilty for needing help. Many of us are not encouraged to learn to ask for help in the years leading up to parenthood, so it can leave mothers feeling lost and overwhelmed.
However, we all need help sometimes. And you’d be surprised how willing your loved ones are to provide a helping hand! Remember that you’re not alone and you’re most certainly not the only mom—let alone human being—who needs a little help every now and then.
Step 2: Determine What You Need
Once you’ve accepted that asking for help is no reflection of your skills as a mother, it’s time to figure out what you need help with.
Do you need advice on establishing sleeping routines? Do you need help with grocery shopping? Do you need child care during the day? Do you need more support from your partner?
There’s no right or wrong answer and it might be different for everyone. Knowing exactly what it is you need help with will make actually asking for help that much easier.
Step 3: Ask!
When you’re ready to ask for help, turn to those you trust. Perhaps you turn to a veteran mom who has experience raising children at different life stages. These are great people to turn to for advice.
If you need support from your partner, explain to them how you’re feeling and ask them if they can help with specific tasks around the house, take turns changing diapers, etc. Asking for what you need while being clear and specific ensures you’ll get what you really need.
Last, don’t be afraid to turn to therapy to express your feelings, learn to cope, and build the necessary skills to achieve better balance in your life. You don’t have to feel overwhelmed all the time!
Talking to a professional can help you let out those frustrated feelings, become more confident in yourself, and ultimately enjoy being a mom to the fullest. Reach out today to learn more and set up your first appointment.